Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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