I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
