Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
