rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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