It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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