careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize