I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
vagina is talking i cant
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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