My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
