No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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