He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize