My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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