I got chris browned last night
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
