I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Randomize
