We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
