The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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