Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
