I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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