We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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