This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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