My nipple is on Facebook.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
