watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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