:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
