Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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