I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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