Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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