Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
