i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
