remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
