Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
