WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
