weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
