So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize