It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
