this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
