who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
The air taste purple.
Randomize
