The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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