How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
