just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
