I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My ass is underappreciated
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
