It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
