her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
