you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
