he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
