Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
