Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
3 2 1 whiskey
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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