As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
