Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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