i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
