How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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