puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
