I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
