We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
