Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Do vagina's smell?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize