You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
