I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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