he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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