Do you still have your period?
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
