I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
