i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize