the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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