i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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