I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
