i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
