"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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