walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
