i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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